I’m fat.

It wasn’t always this way. Sure, I was a chubby little kid, but I escaped childhood corpulence without too much trauma. (There was one time. I was wearing a tank top in 6th grade and this shit bag says to me, “I thought tank tops were for skinny people.” I was just hot. Asshole.)

Then came high school. I was THIN in high school. And I had hair!!! This was also when I began my lifelong love affair with musical theater. As a performer, I always tried to keep myself in the best shape possible, and it was, by far, the best I have ever looked.

But, then, halfway through my Senior Year, my mother suddenly passed away. I kept it together and stayed strong. I finished the year out and went on to Boston University, where I proceeded to have a nervous breakdown, get put on Prozac, and gain over 100 pounds. I left college looking like a different person.

So I tried diets. All of the diets. Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, Atkins, everything. Sometimes it would work. I lost 100 lbs on Nutrisystem. Then I gained it all back.

In 2010, with my wedding looming, I weighed in at a super depressing 375 lbs. I joined Weight Watchers and lost 135 lbs. Man, it felt great!

And I kept it off. For a while. Then we had a baby. Then my grandmother died. Then I was deep in dealing with addiction in my family. And the weight slowly started to creep back up. Before I knew it, I was 299 lbs.

So, back to Weight Watchers I went. I learned that the program changed a lot since I had been gone and now included a social media aspect. I loved the idea of sharing weight loss tips and stories with people from all over, so I jumped right into joining groups on Facebook.

I quickly learned that they all sucked. Judgey, whiney, mean, hangry people lying in wait to pounce when someone mentioned artificial sweeteners or admitted to having gone off the wagon. “Fuck this noise”, I said to myself. I’m gonna start my own group.

So I did. I named it the Lighter Side, and the community grew and grew to over 20,000 members in less than 6 months. It is a vibrant, supportive, judgement free zone which continues to thrive today, almost exactly a year later. You can join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1768664906689355/

But the performer in me wasn’t done. I wanted to use this platform to allow people to tell their stories in a longer form. So, I started The Lighter Side Podcast.

I also had another baby girl! I left a desk job I couldn’t stand and joined an awesome company!

I also gained back another 45 lbs.

So, on April 17th, 2018, I underwent Weight Loss Surgery. I have made it my work to share my story, and I hope that you will follow along.